You already know what you ought to do

Parenting is hard, but it isn't rocket science. We all know what we are supposed to do. Put down the phone and be present with our partner and kids. Regulate our emotions when our kids melt down. Be patient with our little ones.

The challenge is remembering all that and actually doing the right thing when we need to. Our kids are driving the toy train around the track for the tenth time, so we pull out our phones to find something more interesting. Our kids' cries trigger us, so we lose our cool and snap at them. They stall bedtime, and we get all worked up.

In the 18th century, polymath Dr. Samuel Johnson put it well: "Men more frequently require to be reminded than informed." His point was that we generally know what we should do or value. We don't lack the information; we don't need new instructions. We need reminding.

Deep down, we are all great parents. I know it because you are reading this to be a better parent! It's just that we often fail to act the way we want. Maybe we're sleep-deprived from the night feeds. Maybe we're exhausted after a day with the kids or at work. Maybe we're overwhelmed by other worries. And when we get the timely nudge from our partner, friend, or something we read online, we feel a little ashamed and promise ourselves to do better.

This is why I'm writing these daily letters. They are constant reminders of how we want to act as parents: to be present, to be more patient, to be role models. I'm writing them for myself as much as for others. Just a few days ago, after sending my kids to school, I breathed a sigh of relief at making it past the rush and chaos. Then, I received my own letter, You will miss this morning madness. I already knew that. But in the moment, when nothing was going according to plan, I forgot. I needed that reminder myself.

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P.S. If you have found my letters helpful, I'd be grateful if you'd share this with a dad friend!