People like us

When deciding what to write about in my weekly newsletters, I looked to successful writers who inspire me, like Ryan Holiday, Craig Mod, and Robin Sloan. The only problem was...

I am not exactly a successful person.

I have so many things to figure out, from parenting to running a business, from writing to making software. I often lose my patience when my toddler melts down or when my baby refuses to sleep in the middle of the night. I just launched my commonplace app, Fernsage, not too long ago. I pivoted my newsletter from marketing to fatherhood, which most of my subscribers didn't sign up for.

I write because I want to share lessons I have learned to help people one or two steps behind me. But if I'm still in the middle of figuring things out...

Why would anybody read what I have to say?

A breakthrough came one morning when my wife was telling me about a YouTuber she follows, a Singaporean lady about her age. Then, I recalled my wife watching many vlogs from new mothers when our kids were born. It hit me.

Yes, we look up to successful people who seem to have figured it all out. But we relate to people who are still figuring out—just like we are. People facing the same problems as we do. People feeling their way around in the dark as we are. People as ordinary as we are. People like us. It does not matter what they did in the past or what they will achieve in the future. What matters is we are on the same journey right now.

I realized I have been wanting to read about fathers in the same situation as me: hands-on dads who are building a business around their family. Dads who are still figuring things out, not those who have already made it. But I couldn't find any. So, I decided to write about it. I'm not trying to teach people how to be a successful founder-dad but to share the ins and outs and ups and downs of being one.