AI can never do this

"Would you rather be smart or kind?"

Many years ago, the startup I was at had all the employees do a personality quiz. I thought the answer to this question was obviously “to be kind.” But when we discussed our answers among ourselves afterwards, I realized many thought otherwise.

Of course, it isn't wrong to be smart. I want to be smart, too. That's why I have been collecting quotes and writing. But if I can only choose one, I would rather be kind. I want my doctor to be skilled but more importantly ethical.

When imploring us to redefine success and meaning, John Gardner said, "There are men and women who make the world better just by being the kind of people they are... They have the gift of kindness or courage or loyalty or integrity. It matters very little whether they're behind the wheel of a truck or running a country store or bringing up a family."

Given the trend and market incentives, AI will only become more and more intelligent. In some ways, that's great. I can't wait for AI to help me refill my household necessities, plan and book our vacations, and handle boring paperwork.

But AI can never be kind, courageous, or loyal for us. We have to do that ourselves.

We all have that one crazy yet supportive friend. ChatGPT, Claude, and Gemini can never be that friend. Tell them you want to quit your job to start a business; they will ask whether you have enough savings, offer to refine your business idea, and help you come up with a plan. Sure, that's nice. But often we just want to hear our friend say, "Oh yeah? What are you waiting for!"

When we are going through hardship, we just want our loved one to give us a hug and sit with us. When we want to take a leap, we wish to feel supported by our family and friends, regardless of what will happen. When we are not behaving quite like ourselves, we hope people around us can see through the turbulence to our real selves.

AI may eventually do all our professional work, creating PowerPoint decks, filling out Excel spreadsheets, and sending emails. But only we can do the human work of being kind, courageous, and loyal to the other humans around us. And among all the things to teach our children, the most important one is how to be a good human.