We choose how we want to remember it

I dropped my work for 10 days because my kids had HFMD. During that period, I struggled with looking after sick kids and with neglecting my work. To keep myself sane and remind myself what dad I want to be, I meditated on several passages from folks like Charlie Munger and Anna Quindlen.

Now that I can look back at that period with a clearer head and a little less fatigue, I see it as a blessing, too.

Of course, I would never want them to be that sick again. But since they started school, we haven't spent that many full days together. If I could choose, I would rather have 10 days of vacation together. But when life gives us lemons, my son wants to taste them. So I give him a slice and we all laugh at his wincing expression. I remind myself that my children will never be this age again.

While I was worried about leaving my work behind, I came back with a refreshed perspective and realized I needed to change some things. Without the break, albeit involuntary, I would have continued going through the motions.

As Laura Ingalls Wilder said, "There is good in everything, if only we look for it." She grew up in poverty because of her dad's debt and poor business choices, lost her nine-month-old baby brother to acute diarrhea, and gave birth to a son who died after 12 days—among many other misfortunes. Yet she chose to focus on the positives, like her Pa's fiddle music and her Ma's grace.

I'll be the first to admit parenting has challenged me and pushed me to my limits. But I also realized it's sad to love our children so much and yet remember their childhood as a time of misery and frustration.

Whatever happened has already happened. But we can choose how we want to remember it.